I now believe that the saying “Be careful what you ask for” is very relevant. When I again, asked the Lord to show me exactly what IS this Love that allows Him to love me so passionately the way He does…I had a vision and an encounter far more than I had ever bargained for. When I asked Him to show me more of who He is, and what His love really looked and felt like, I had no idea He would put me in HIS place!
Like any other normal day, I was in my office listening to a worship playlist from YouTube and I just started feeling the Lord pull on me to be alone with Him. Being that it was past work hours, I decided to rush home, and clean up my room because I had great expectation that my favorite Guest was coming. When I spend quality time alone with the Lord, I normally light some candles, and play music that usually sings the words my heart wants to say to Him.
So after worshipping, and praying for awhile, enjoying my time with my Lord, the song “What is this love” by Kari Jobe came on. As I sang along to the words, I asked the Lord the same question. I truly wanted to know, “What is this love you love me with? Who are you? I mean really?? I want to know EVERY single thing about you.” I have had many revelations and encounters of His Love before, but I knew there was more. I knew there was much more to who He is, which is Love, and I want to know all about it. And so then I heard the Lord say, “Love looks and feels like this. ” And in that very instant as He said that, I had this great vision that I was on the cross at Calvary. ME! Not Jesus, but me! I was put on the cross!
Without any warning, I was hanging on some wood made into the shape of the cross, just like Jesus was over 2000 years ago. I remember sensing that the surrounding area was dark, gray, and gloomy. In my mind, I was thinking, what in the world? What am I doing here? What did I do? And then I saw a friend whom I love dearly. As I stared at this women whom I love with every piece of me, she stared back at me in totally disgust. She looked at me as if she was angry and hated me! As if she couldn’t stand my face! And I could almost hear her evil thoughts towards me. In that moment I knew she wanted me dead! Then I looked around her, and in front of me stood so many other angry people. But not just any random strangers or people, but I knew that the faces staring back at me with hate was my very own friends and church family members. People who attend the same church I do, that I’ve grown to love so much, and who have truly become like family! I didn’t understand it. Why are they so angry? All I’ve ever tried to do was love and serve them. It seemed as if they were accusing me of things I didn’t do or say and they actually wanted me dead! What in the world?!
Can you imagine staring in the face of hundreds of people that you love dearly, knowing they once loved you but now wanted you dead even though you know you did nothing wrong? Imagine your best friend and all of your family members are looking at you in total disgust! They are all eager to see you die even though all you’ve ever done was love them.
With so much hurt and pain I just whaled and cried because in this moment, this was my reality. Then I heard the Lord say, “Would you stay on this cross, knowing that the very people you love so much, hates you? Will stay on this cross as they’re calling you fake and blasphemous? Would you stay on this cross and die for these very people who now deny who you truly are and are treating you like this? Do you still love them?” At that moment I realized I had a choice. Do I tell the Lord that I can’t take this pain and suffering and allow Him to get me down immediately? Can I just leave this place and ignore what was happening? I looked at that one woman again, my friend, whom I loved and cherished. Then I looked at the crowd with tears flowing uncontrollably from my eyes. And without hesitation, I felt what seemed like a fire bubble filled with love rise up on the inside me and I yelled, “Yes! I would. I love them so much! I would do anything for all of them! I will stay here on this cross and die for them!” In that very moment my world was changed.
But then as I continued to cry, (I cried ALOT though out all of this) I thought to myself with my own human reasoning, and senses, Why? Why would I suffer and die for these people who hate me, when all I want to do is love them? Why are they even persecuting me? I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually wrecked. I felt like every single piece of my being was crying. If I could cry through my toes and my hair, in that moment I was. What else could my body do?
I cried and melted in the moment of realizing the power and ultimate truth of my Lord’s love for me. What He did for me, and all of the people in the world was beyond normal human comprehension.
To truly grasp this revelation took more than book and head knowledge. I had just encountered the depth of Jesus’ sacrificial love. I had experienced the heart ache of true love. Loving people to the point of death, even if they hate you. Even if they despise your very existence.
This was a true supernatural moment. Knowing that I would still love them all despite what they ever did or said that could hurt me. I felt and understood this sacrificial love in a way I hadn’t known before. Even though they all hated me and screamed at me, I still loved them. I couldn’t help it. I could literally feel the pain the Lord felt, but despite the pain, there was a powerful love that overcame it all.
THIS is the love He has for me, you and every human on this planet! This love is the greatest! To stare in the face, the very people you are in love with, while knowing they hate you and want you dead. This love has made a decision and said, I will do anything for you. I will even die for you. John 15:13 declares that, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
There it is! Most of us have heard and seen it many, many times before. “Jesus loves us. God sent His son to die for us.” But there is a greater revelation and understanding received when you have actually experienced it! Now of course, this was an encounter with the Lord, and I only experienced this in a vision, but by way of the spirit, it was all so VERY real.
This is the true and pure love that the Lord God wants us all to understand and receive. We sacrifice our selves for the benefit of others despite how they treat us or respond to our love. We serve and love one another just because that is who we are created to be! It is apart of who we are because we are like the Lord! Created with Love! We are made in God’s Image and Love is who we are! And true love WILL sacrifice!
So I challenge you to grasp the reality of what sacrifice looks like in your life.
It could be something as simple as giving up your favorite outfit or meal for another. It may even be harder, like giving up your car or even your kidney, or donating blood, or blessing someone monetarily when you’re down to your last dollar. Whatever way you are led to sacrifice, just do it. The reward of knowing that you are truly walking in the Love that God has called us to is far greater than what you could ever give up.
“Producing Realized Dreams with Love!”
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